__Yes __No (IF YOU ANSWERED ' YES' TO ANY OF THE ABOVE, DISCONTINUE APPLICATION AND LEAVE PREMISES IMMEDIATELY. Do you have a nose ring, pierced tongue, pierced cheek or a belly button ring?You and I may only ever agree on one thing: My son is the greatest young man in the history of the entire universe. I can and will judge your trampy book by its cleavage showing/bare midriff blazing/stiletto heel stomping/false eyelash wearing cover…and so will everybody else. I don’t want to see what’s going on between your legs and I certainly don’t want to find out the hard way either.
He hates his job, his wife is lazy, his son is dysfunctional (especially with women), and his daughter is dim-witted and promiscuous.APPLICATION TO DATE MY SON NOTE: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your doctor. The one thing I hope this application does not ask me about is: ______________________________________________________________E. __________________________ ______________________________________________________________ ______________________________________________________________F. When I meet a boy, the thing I always notice about him first is: ______________________________________________________________G. ______________________ RULES: Initial each Rule after reading. Rule Four: Do not be hurt when my son chooses sports or gaming over time with you. Do not expect expensive gifts, he has been taught to be a savvy shopper.NAME_______________________________________ ALIASES ______________DATE OF BIRTH_____________ HEIGHT___________ WEIGHT____________IQ__________ GPA______________ SOCIAL SECURITY#________________DRIVERS LICENSE #________________ IQ _________ BLOOD TYPE _____GIRL SCOUT RANK AND BADGES________________________________________HOME ADDRESS_______________________ CITY/STATE___________ ZIP______Do you have parents? Rule One: If you talk with foul words and dress like a tramp in shirts that are too small and pants low with thong showing, I will treat you like one. Rule Three: You must know how to cook as well as I have taught my son(s) to cook. Rule Six: Don't sleep with my son; the only rubber he should be concerned about is out in the driveway and has Goodyear stamped on it. I may appear to be a pudgy, baggy-eyed, last-season, has-been.I don’t care how much my son likes it when you let your thongy freak flag fly. Look, I don’t mind tattoos per se but you’re a teenage girl and right now that tat is making you look like someone who doesn’t give a $#@& about her parents.If you don’t give a $#@& about your own parents, then you most certainly won’t give a $#@& about me.