This will give you both time to get to know each other and to figure out if you’d like to be in a relationship together.It will also give you time to get more comfortable to talk to him about it. I know that starting this conversation with a dude can be awkward, uncomfortable and completely nerve-wracking. I’ve done it a million times and let me just tell you guys something: I am really shy.So if I can talk about this with dudes, anyone can. Like I said, this might be a slightly awkward convo – there might be no getting around that. Would you rather be lame and sit around waiting to hear what he thinks or would you rather take the initiative and find out where his head is on your own? Here’s what to do: first of all, this conversation should happen in person, not through text messages, Facebook chats or even on the phone.Second of all, you should be relatively calm when you bring it up. There are so many religious, cultural, emotional and personal issues attached to it. So if he's sticking around, but not committing, it's not the sex that is to blame. Understandably, sex has always been an emotionally charged subject for women. That's not to say that sex means love or that if you have sex with them, it will automatically translate into romance. And guys rarely stay with a woman just for the sex.You’ve said it to me loud and clear; you’ve been hurt before, you don’t want it to happen again, and you definitely don’t want to waste your time.It’s important to remember, however, that nobody escapes matters of the heart completely unscathed.
In a weird way, when things get serious they feel more casual.
It is often said that women are the gatekeepers to sex, while guys are the gatekeepers to commitment. If you think sex is everything that a guy wants, you're wrong.
As a result, many women have a love-hate relationship with sex. The sex alone isn't worth it if he doesn't like you all that much, especially if you constantly nag and create drama.
Which brings us to a notion that I articulated in which has a funny way of always resurfacing on this blog: “Men look for sex and find love.” This doesn’t mean he’s a player or a liar or a loser. The way he figures out if he really wants to be in a relationship with you is based on the quality time you spend talking over that first month or two.
This doesn’t mean he doesn’t want to be a good husband and father one day. This is completely separate from his desire to sleep with you.